Strength:
Willis McGahee will be a huge improvement over Jamal Lewis, who hasn’t just lost a step, he’s lost hundreds of steps. He’s even lost some of McGahee’s steps.

Weakness:
The offense opted to play the field position game in last year’s playoffs and didn’t bother trying to score any touchdows. Apparently they didn’t realize you can’t carry good field position over into this year.

Question Mark:
Brian Billick won 13 games for this team last season, but I still would have fired him. 13 wins isn’t even that impressive in these days of steroids and human growth hormone.

Strength:
Brady Quinn put on a dazzling performance against the Lions' third string prevent defense, but now he must prove that he can do that against a defense that’s actually trying to stop him. Only then can he be mentioned in the same breath as every backup QB in the league.

Weakness:
Last year was Kellen Winslow’s coming out party, and I think it was very courageous of him to do that in the atmosphere of today’s NFL.

Question Mark:
Remember when the Browns had Bernie Kosar and Art Monk and they were the toast of the NFC West? No? Well, maybe it was the AFC West. Anyway, they had a winning record at some point.

Strength:
Mike Tomlin displayed a shocking lack of loyalty when he stiffed the Vikings in favor of the first head coaching job he was offered. Okay, I’ll say it because nobody else will: this is why teams are hesitant to hire black coaches.

Weakness:
The Steelers lost Joey Porter because they were too cheap to pay him the money he deserved. That’s going to come back and bite them in the ass when they have a game against a division rival and can’t think of anything cool to yell at them during warm-ups.

Question Mark:
Will Ben Roethlisberger return to form this season? He says he’s fully healthy and ready for a big year, but he said that last year, too, and ended up getting into a motorcycle accident.

Strength:
Every year the Bengals try to improve their defense and every year it keeps getting worse. Maybe the answer is to ignore it and just see if it goes away.

Weakness:
They drafted a running back in the second round who ended up tearing his ACL and is now out for the season. Terrible pick. They should have drafted someone who was actually going to play.

Question Mark:
Carson Palmer would be wise to start sucking soon so he doesn’t end up being one of those great quarterbacks who never wins a Super Bowl.

Strength:
Joseph Addai proved last year that he can handle the load at tailback. He also proved that tailbacks are basically interchangeable and there’s no point in giving him a long-term deal. He must have very mixed emotions right now.

Weakness:
The Colts lost some key players in the off-season and did nothing to replace them, looking like a team that’s a little too complacent after winning the Super Bowl. Either that or they’re just trying to miss the playoffs this year in order to stave off complacency in 2008.

Question Mark:
The defense is looking to do a better job at stopping the run this year, and the key to stopping the run is attitude. Also, enormous fat asses with quick feet.

Strength:
They tried the running back by committee approach last year and it didn’t work, probably because the chairman of the committee was Wali Lundy. If Wali Lundy is the chairman of your committee you might want to adjourn for lunch and never come back.

Weakness:
The offensive line is using that zone blocking scheme now, which had a great track record until the Texans got hold of it. Now the scheme will probably be obsolete in a few years, along with the quarterback and defensive lineman positions.

Question Mark:
Everything about the Texans sucks, but that doesn’t mean the fans should be concerned. We’re all going to be dead in a few years anyway.

Strength:
GM James Harris was wise to sign receiver Dennis Northcutt, because Northcutt is such a no-talent that simply releasing him will vastly improve the team.

Weakness:
They lost a guy name Deon in the off-season, which means they got considerably slower. However, they also lost a guy named Kyle, so maybe they'll cancel each other out.

Question Mark:
David Garrard will be the starter on this team by Week 8. By Week 9, Byron Leftwich will be the starter again.

Strength:
The powerful offensive line should definitely be able to open up some running lanes for LenDale White to fall into. They shouldn’t worry about gaining yards. Opening up lanes is its own reward.

Weakness:
Jeff Fisher is in a contract year, which means he’s only going to be concerned about his precious won/loss record and not the well being of the team.

Question mark:
They may have lost their two best wide receivers, but they can easily be replaced by evaluating the remaining group and determining which two are the best. In that sense, they will always have their two best wide receivers.

Strength:
The best way for J.P. Losman to make his teammates better is to stay the hell off the field. See, sometimes it’s the little things that don’t show up on the stat sheet that make all the difference.

Weakness:
They should have done more to keep Nate Clemens in the fold, like offer him a $100 million contract, making him the highest paid defender in history. That would have made him feel wanted and only cost them around $18 million.

Question Mark:
Marv Levy is still kicking despite being 82-years old. When I get to his age I hope I’m doing the same thing, except with a better team.

Strength:
The Patriots may win the Super Bowl this year, but they have sold their soul in the process, which is still way better than keeping your soul and being the Cleveland Browns.

Weakness:
If Asante Samuel can’t come to an agreement with the Patriots, he will have to play for $8 million next year. I can't imagine the horror of having that hanging over your head. The amount of suffering in the world is just unfathomable. It is time for the arising of a new consciousness.

Question Mark:
Is Rodney Harrison 100 percent healthy? It appears so, but there’s a chance he could get injured again, so in that sense he, and every other player in the NFL, is a major question mark.

Strength:
Cam Cameron should be able to get some production out of the offense if Trent Green can stay healthy and the line can block. Even if they can't, he’ll still be an offensive whiz in my book. My book is called Stuff That Isn’t True.

Weakness:
The Dolphins pass protection is horrible, but they don’t really have anybody worth protecting, so in a sense it's not really a weakness.

Question mark:
The coaches should make the whole team do extra up-downs every time third-year fullback Kyle Eckel screws up. That should teach him to be a third-year fullback. Asshole.

Strength:                                                        
The team is being pretty hush-hush about Thomas Jones’ leg injury. In fact, they won’t even tell Jones what’s wrong with him. He’s going around thinking he has an arm injury.

Weakness:
Chad Pennington has a weak arm, but he can improve that by going down to the Y and doing some curls. You’d be surprised have fast they build your muscles. Then he should learn how to throw.

Question Mark:
Darrelle Revis is a shut-down cornerback, which means teams will probably be passing on the Jets way less this year and running on them way more, and their run defense isn’t that great, so the selection of Revis was a puzzling one.